Vanessa Grubbs gave her now-husband, Robert Phillips, a kidney after dating him for just nine months.
Grubbs became a kidney specialist as a result of the experience.
Critical, because this is the time period during which rapid attraction building is taking place and where the man is essentially making up his mind about you and if he wants a future with you.
Believe it or not but in these first 12 weeks of knowing a man, the fundamentals of the relationship are decided.
She’s still Jenny from the block — and now she’s dating a former Bronx Bomber.
It’s a bit like the first trimester of pregnancy – the most crucial time in the formation of a baby in the mother’s womb.A nurse gave her Valium through the IV in her left arm, and then Grubbs was wheeled off to the operating room, where a surgeon would extract one shiny pink kidney from deep within her abdomen. So we kind of knew what we wanted in a partner; we knew where we were going.”Grubbs married her boyfriend, Robert Phillips, now the CEO of a Sacramento nonprofit, four months after the surgery. Distressed by the racial disparities in health care she encountered during her husband’s medical odyssey, she shifted course professionally, pursuing advanced training in the demanding field of nephrology, or kidney treatment.Grubbs, who is not a woman given to halfway gestures, not only gave a kidney to the man she loved on that day in April 2005 — she did so after dating him for only nine months.“A lot of people thought I was insane,” she recalled.“We weren’t officially engaged, but it’s not like we were teenagers. She also became an advocate for African-American patients, who have to wait nearly two years longer than whites to get life-saving transplants. After the hospitalization, he never required dialysis again — knock on wood! He’s a big man, and my kidney was considered relatively small for him.It is during the first 12 weeks that all the major organs like the heart, liver and kidneys develop and where the risk of miscarriage or something going wrong with the pregnancy is the highest.Post these 12 weeks, doctors generally claim that pregnancies get stable with little risk to the fetus in the womb. What a man fundamentally thinks of you, how he fundamentally experiences you and how weak or intense his attraction is for you is decided during this phase of dating.It’s been 12 years now, and things are about the same, so we’re really happy about that.